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Fall of the Newbs

Author File Description
Richard Ames
File Details
Number of Scenarios: 2
Difficulty: Mod-Hard
Fall of the Newbs – A Campaign for All and None,5343,,10

Note: This campaign may contain hidden messages of communism, atheism, postmodernism and 'unamericanism'. Please ask your mother before playing.

“The English speaking world is divided into those who have played ‘Richard & N00bs’ and ‘Fall of the Newbs’ and those who are going to play them” – Sunday Times

Instructions: Save the campaign file to the campaign folder, and place the language dll files in the main AoE folder after making a backup of the original pair. There is a walkthrough included if you need it. For the story and history of the campaign, visit the forum topic linked above.

Fall of the Newbs

We always enjoyed playing AoE the most when we were newbs. We weren’t very good at all, and sometimes it would take us hours to finish a simple B&D mission, but it was filled with the wonder of unfamiliar units, beautiful random maps, and a chorus of music and sounds. We enjoyed all the ES campaigns immensely, despite later realizing they have poor map design and often lack in creativity. Once we newbed our way onto the internet, we found AoEH and downloaded scenarios by guys like Ingo and Andrea. We didn’t understand just what was involved in making the campaigns, and we hadn’t the skill to play them, but we had a great time.

Concerning Newbies

This campaign is largely concerned with newbies (treponooba pallidum) and from it the player may discover a lot of their character and a little of their history. More can be learned by playing campaigns made by newbies - try searching for “Lord of the Rings”. This campaign depicts some of the earliest newbies from way way back in 2005, who are now part of the forgotten scrolls of newb-lore.

Newbies are an obtrusive and very unancient little people, more numerous today than formerly. They love train0rz and trickz, crackz and warez, flame warz, cheatz, and anything else ending with the letter z. They appear out of nowhere, and disappear (or are banned) just as quickly.

Concerning Newbish languages (133t)

Newbies are sometimes even able to read and write, though only in more recent times. Oft it is that we folk see newbs attempt to type. When not writing entirely in numbers, they can be identified by their use of entirely capital or lowercase letters (but never both at once), and their flagrant disregard for spelling, grammar or making any sense. Though it may appear that English is not their first language it usually is. Where our campaign’s story features n00bic dialogue any punctuation is accidental, but we’ve tried to make them a little more readable by correcting some spelling mistakes, while still trying to preserve their little ways.

Fall of the Newbs is a humorous tale, with many references that new players may not understand, but we hope it will be enjoyed by newb and non-newb alike. Enjoy playing, and show it to your family and friends, or failing that, a pet animal.

-Age of Empires Community
Pages: « First « 1 [2]
AuthorComments & Reviews   ( All | Comments Only | Reviews Only )
Dean McCullough
Map Design5.0
Playability: 4.8
What's this? A 'finished' project?

A rare sight. But it's here, and all of the planning, working, and endless posts on it have finally paid off.

This campaign doesn't need any explanation to most regulars here. 'Fall of the Newbs' began in the minds of our forummers over 2 years ago---the original thread can be found using this link (,5343,,20)--- after about a year and a half of working upon it, things stalled to a halt in the december of 2006 as Rich had left the heavens for college... But finally, after a few touches, the campaign has been OFFICIALLY completed and has arrived here.

It's very difficult to describe everything without giving anything away. But here I go... From the Zone game at the start to the LoTR esque showdown at the end, there's something here that ANY gamer---that is, from hardcore to casual---will identify and like. These two scenarios are so complex that it's going to take you quite some time to pull through. But no matter how much time you put into it, you're still going to look at it as time well spent in the end. Everything works brilliantly---and works in ways that you haven't seen before. This campaign is loaded to the brim in tricks, fun, and just sheer orginality. At its core it's most certainly an FF, but it draws something from everything. Frankly I want to keep the works of "Fall of the Newbs" in the works of the campaign itself. In short-it's a muct play and will keep you entertained for a long time. No doubt about it, this is up there with Ingo's and Andrea's works, if not higher.

*The map however, is so complex that sometimes saving does not work properly, as well as sometimes the campaign just outright crashes. This happened to me on more than one occasion, but I'm taking minimal points off as it didn't bother me all too much.

Balance: 5
A remarkable challenge... Once again, there's so much to say that I simply can't spill it all. Almost every situation here requires come unique thinking---and if you don't get to it, your game is done. Your heaven isn't just going to be attacked by wimpy swordsmen---try transforming Medusa mutants! While some challenges are standard fights, others are out there... How do you slip past a photon man? It's for you to figure out. And if that's not enough, this campaign contains not just difficult and unique challenges---it has so many that are so complex that you'll be busy for days. Frankly, this is like buying a new video game. There's almost too much to be had here... Amazing...

Creativity: 5+
You aren't going to find anything as astonishingly unique as this. This is a work by a team of forummers who worked on this for OVER A YEAR. The gameplay is like none other; going from a zone game against two 'newbs' in the begining to a LotR tale in the next... Not only does the gameplay throw in loads of complex tricks and dings that have never been seen before, the .DLL file switches up the majority of the game's wording. As for the map, it's a masterpiece, on par with that of Andrea and Phatfish. The amount of eye candy gives orgasms to your eyes... I really don't want to give it away to you. Just play and look at it yourself. The way the map folds out is simply amazing. The real work here is the elaborate story, both a masterpiece and a great comedy. Quite unlike anything else I've seen. Ex-zoners will appreciate the noob fight scenario at the start. But when it comes down to it, a campaign about defending a website from bad uploads deserves a 5 in itself...

Map Design: 5
A work of art. Although the first scenario is a random map (and for a good reason) the next scenario is one of the best maps ever created. Everything here is polished completely, and that's saying alot looking at the size of the map, as well as the complexity of the scenario itself already. Once again, I'll leave it to the player to feast upon, and not spoil everything in this review. In short, it's one of the best maps I've ever seen. From AoEH fortress alleys to the fellowships path to the depths of n00bdor itself, it's a billion-dollar masterpiece.

Story/Instructions: 5+
Simply unbelievable. Following the story of us AoEHers attempting to defeat the n00b bastards, you'll find your time spent WITH THE STORY as well spent all the same. There's so much to be had in such high quality. the sheer wit and originality of this story is enough to drive even the worst scenario in the granary. The story itself in fact will take you a couple hours in total to finish completely, but even if you hate reading, I can guarantee that you'll like this nonetheless. This is, in fact, what happens when a group of people work on something for over a year. I'm not going to give it away... But in short, this is THE BEST story in the granary, period. Nothing else tops this... You read it and thank me for telling you to download this.

Additional Comments: Download? What do you think? This is the best scenario of '07 as of now, and one of the best campaigns of all-time. This is going in the hall-of-fame, without a doubt. If you don't like this, you don't like AoE. Actually, a more accurate statement would be that you don't like games period... Download.

[Edited on 06/10/08 @ 01:34 PM]

BlackSunEmperor omg, the 2nd scenario... It's the ultimate 0o
I swear to god this is the first level ever in history that lagged frequently, but my my... You really get something.
Map Design5.0
This is my trubute to FoN and all the dedicated creatores.

Playability: 5
It was hard, but still beatable. But it was very fun. It all worked together so well, the newbs asking for tribute, the fellowship going to n00bodor, the modz attacking AoEH, it was fantastic.

Balance: 5
You are outnumbered in n00bodor, but you can still win. It takes alot of time and effort, though. I had to use the walkthrough a lot:p

Creativity: 5
How more creative can you get? N00bs attacking AoEH with obselete and n00bic campaigns? Although the LotR elements aren't very creative, but that's on purpose.

Map Design: 5
Incredible. Simply incredible. Beutiful eyecandy, AoEH is a masterpiece. It's a bit overdone in some places, but it all looks natural.

Story/Instructions: 5
Creative story, it was clear, I always knew what to do. Very good. And the full story here took me about half an hour to read!

Additional Comments:
Great work guys. I hope we have another big project soon. This is probably the best campaign I've ever played.

[Edited on 04/22/08 @ 05:29 PM]

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