I knew what vacation ment. It ment "visiting a place far away from your computer you have never been. But the hallway outside my room wasn't what mom had in mind. We went down to a nice sea side resort called 'seascape'. It was one of those places with the rentable houses 3 feet from the water, with places you can get a ham sandwitch for $29.95 and a guy comes by your room 3 times a second asking if you wanted to know about any of the resort atractions, such as surfing, buying expencive gifts, tennis, buying expencive gifts, golf lessons, buying expencive gifts, campfires on the beach, and strip poker in the main lobby. Just kidding! Campfires are not allowed.
I dont know why, but it seemed like the people at the resort didn't like me. There was this leak in the shower, and I wanted to repear it. As you all know, everything takes wood to repear, except towers, but this shower was part of a house. I went outside and started choping down a nearby palm tree, when 2 guys with red shorts on came and stoped me, mainly by grabbing my ax and yelling that this was their tree, and I would have to pay for killing it. Its just as well, because all the storage pits around here had brown roofs. As they walked away, I struck it one more time, causing it to fall on their heads.
Then, I was walking down the road, and I saw a guy with a red shirt on. I wanted to get back at the red player for taking my wood, so I went and got a large club. After I had beat him with the club, I saw 2 more guys in blue coming toward me! Good, they have come to help me, I thought, but they grabbed me instead. WTF??? We had the same color clothing! They put me in a small room with bars on one side and a small toilet. I had a blue shirt on! There guys had the same clothing color, but they had attacked me instead. I was waiting for my sentence, probably 'death by delete key' for attacking a neutral team that we almost had enough gold to ally with, when I saw one of the bars was loose. I climed out.
I walked down to the beach. Hey! There was a bunch of bowmen! They were shooting at passing civilians, occasionally hitting one of those round colorful circles things. I heard a siren. Oh my god! There, comming toward me, was a big daddy!!! Out of it came 2 guys in blue, holding guns. Photon men! Someone was cheating!!!!!!! They saw me and told me to get in.
"No fair! Thats cheating!" I said. "You guys have guns and a car! I dont play with cheaters". I tryed to find the resign button, but they grabbed me, and put me back in... the same cell! This time though, there was another guy here, wearing a brown shirt. I could tell he owned the resort because the roofs were the same color as his clothes. He asked why I had beat up that man, and I told him. He asked me if I knew who the man was. I told him I thought he was an enemy villager, but he told me the man was discovered to be Bob Smith aka 'The guy who goes around doing not-very-nice things, like killing people and puting the parts he doesn't eat on his dashboard and has bumper stickers like 'AoE Heaven forumers suck!!!' and 'I sued a japaneese restaurant because they didn't cook my fish'. He wanted to reward me for capturing him. I recieved 5000 gold in tribute! I used it to buy that tree outside my room, so I could fix the shower. And I told him to get rid of those cars, or someone might think he was a cheater.
And that was just day 1!! I have day 2 next, but its midnight, so I dont feel like typing it.
PS most of this is true. Several parts I made up. Those ham sandwitches really cost $12.95.