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Age of Empires Heaven » Forums » Age of Empires / Rise of Rome / Definitive Edition » Daily jokes.... if you suffer of an heart condition refrain from coming here!
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Topic Subject:Daily jokes.... if you suffer of an heart condition refrain from coming here!
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Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-11-99 11:08 PM ET (US)         
Well, like Sting said, somebody has probably been refreshing his IP adress and voted big time for me in the "who's the coolest" thread. I swear it's not me!! As I promised, I will post here 1 joke everyday (starting tomorrow) but some jokes might take some time to download. Be patient, they will be all worth it! You might have to download some files but I assure you they will be virus free (I am running McAfee Vshield anti virus 3.1.6).


Phil

AuthorReplies:
Thunder
VIP BonusXP
posted 05-12-99 00:06 AM ET (US)     1 / 52       
Oh boy! I can't wait to see what Phil comes up with here...dirty jokes, Frog in blender programs? (yuk)

Great idea though

mulan98
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 01:04 AM ET (US)     2 / 52       
I love jokes!!
Yippie!!!

See if I get my sig correctly this time....

------------------
Zone Name: mulan98
ICQ: 2465023
<img scr = http://members.tripod.com/bobcat_racing/apctitle.jpg></img>

disciplejim
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 01:56 AM ET (US)     3 / 52       
mulan98
I am certainly no expert, but I think you need to add quotation marks in front of http and behind jpg.
Did mine work?

kurtiebird
Inactive
posted 05-12-99 04:27 AM ET (US)     4 / 52       
Jim is right Mulan. Also, it's img src, you spelled it scr. Also, you don't need the /img at the end.

Kurtiebird
kcochran@kc.net ~ ICQ 1616884
aka APC_Kurtiebird, VVV_Kurtiebird

Get your smileys here!

Josh the Great
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 05:43 AM ET (US)     5 / 52       
Hehe that frog in the blender Shock program was funny . Let me see...what was I talking about? Uhoh. There goes my mind hitting the floor again...



ha.gifcav.gifca.gif


Josh the Great
Zone Name: APC_Josh_TG
ICQ: 30897527
I am currently ICQ Online Indicator


Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 08:58 AM ET (US)     6 / 52       
May 12,1999... Joke 1

Here's the first one! It's an AVI file showing what stupid things young monkeys(humans?) can do. It's 1Mb and I am sorry for those who does not have a cable modem. Maybe some of you already saw it. When I saw that little movy, I laughed for 10 minutes!!


click here to download

Phil


[This message has been edited by Phil_The_Great (edited 05-12-99).]

Vixen
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 09:51 AM ET (US)     7 / 52       
May 12th, 1999: Joke No. Zero:

Phil lives in the past - look at the date for his joke!


APC_Vixen

PS: Darn, he changed the date!
FYI, it was "May 11" b4.

[This message has been edited by Vixen (edited 05-13-99).]

disciplejim
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 02:28 PM ET (US)     8 / 52       
So . . . tell me Phil. How many votes will it take to get you to stop?
Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 03:13 PM ET (US)     9 / 52       
Jim,
I did not believe my vote would actually go to 34 Do you think I can be released from this stupid promise? Well, folks, you tell me
Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-12-99 10:57 PM ET (US)     10 / 52       
May 13,1999... Joke 2

This post is rated PG-16. If you're under 16, go get you parent's permission to go further.


For the others, you're wondering why I am single?


This might be the answer!

Phil

Thunder
VIP BonusXP
posted 05-12-99 11:35 PM ET (US)     11 / 52       
Teehee, very amusing Phil. I sure hope the lady forumers appreciate that joke as much as the gentlemen.
kurtiebird
Inactive
posted 05-16-99 07:53 PM ET (US)     12 / 52       
Hey Phil,

Are you out of jokes already?

Kurtiebird
kcochran@kc.net ~ ICQ 1616884
aka APC_Kurtiebird, VVV_Kurtiebird

Get your smileys here!

Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-17-99 10:07 AM ET (US)     13 / 52       
Nah, I was just not getting any comments so I thought nobody were looking at them... so I stoped I have PLENTY of stupid things to show!
mulan98
Clubman
posted 05-17-99 11:14 AM ET (US)     14 / 52       
Let's see here. OK...I've got a joke to share.

Q: What's the defination of disgusting?
A: Imagine tking off your under wear and throwing it against the wall and it sticks on the wall!

Q: What's even more disgusting?
A: Imagine taking off your under wear and throwing it against the wall and it sticks. Then it slowly moves down!

Yuck!


kurtiebird
Inactive
posted 05-17-99 02:08 PM ET (US)     15 / 52       
Well, show away...we need all the stupid you can muster.

Kurtiebird
kcochran@kc.net ~ ICQ 1616884
aka APC_Kurtiebird, VVV_Kurtiebird

Get your smileys here!

Tiger Lily
Inactive
posted 05-17-99 02:42 PM ET (US)     16 / 52       
Yes! We want stupid, we want gross, we want more risque'!
I didn't get all my big, hulking, brutal, hormonally-driven male friends to vote for you for nothing!!
We Want FUNNY!!!
Come on Phil, I know you can deliver the goods!!

------------------
"Yes, it's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist."
~Doc Holliday "Tombstone"

Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-17-99 03:08 PM ET (US)     17 / 52       
ok
Hemlock
Clubman
(id: S_Hemlock)
posted 05-17-99 03:09 PM ET (US)     18 / 52       
Welcome back TL. We were starting to think you'd fallen off the earth.
Tiger Lily
Inactive
posted 05-17-99 04:41 PM ET (US)     19 / 52       
I'm Glad SOMEONE missed me Sherlock! I've been researching for my novel. Between it and family I have had no time for AoE or RoR. Do you know how hard it is to find any information on the history of whorehouses in the American West??? It's pretty **** near Impossible!!!(If ANYONE knows ANYTHING about this subject please contact me and tell me what they know or where to look(FACTS, PLEASE!!)I'm getting pretty desperate here...
But Since I'm Philly's Favorite, I just had to help him out. My friends are his, etc.,... Besides, after all the hard work I'm putting into this book, I need a good laugh or two...


------------------
"Yes, it's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist."
~Doc Holliday "Tombstone"

[This message has been edited by Tiger Lily (edited 05-17-99).]

Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-17-99 06:13 PM ET (US)     20 / 52       
you are so sweet Lily
mixmasterjeff
Inactive
posted 05-17-99 08:29 PM ET (US)     21 / 52       
tiger lily you know whorehouses have been the same for a while, every town had em and they are the same as they are today just these ones had a little less technolegelical stuff in theres ( how many modern day broffels dont have a p3 with ror installed )
Tiger Lily
Inactive
posted 05-17-99 09:33 PM ET (US)     22 / 52       
But I need DETAILS!!!I need DESCRIPTIONS!!!
I have been all over the net for weeks and NOTHING!!(Sigh, if only I had a time machine...)
I want my book to be as accurate as possible, and most of the info I have found is all Hollywood-ed and that is not what I want to write about. Besides,you may not believe this, mixmasterjeff, but I have never been in a whorehouse...
(Sorry I'm using this forum and thread with stuff that has nothing to do with AoE, but I need help, and info.My book is going to be fiction, but I would like it to be based in facts...)If anyone can suggest where to go to find what I'm looking for, I will gladly go there.(And Armagedn, no comments from you. I know exactly where you would suggest I go...)

------------------
"Yes, it's true, you are a good woman. Then again, you may be the antichrist."
~Doc Holliday "Tombstone"

Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-18-99 01:47 AM ET (US)     23 / 52       
Joke 3... you asked for it

This one is more acceptable I think



Phil

Thunder
VIP BonusXP
posted 05-18-99 01:53 AM ET (US)     24 / 52       
ROFL....that was...no wait...still laughing....

Phil, you da man! Take that Kaban!

Phil_The_Great
Clubman
posted 05-18-99 02:06 AM ET (US)     25 / 52       
Imagine the big women is a Heavy Cat and the dog is a Compie
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