Lag is short for Lagromoruxaitis. It is a disease causes by a virus 'Baddius Interneticus Conectius' Many people tell you a virus is a computer program disigned to **** up your system, but that is wrong. Look in any desent boilogy/medical textbook, and it will tell you a virus is a tiny life form little more than DNA and protien.
The lag virus infects computers threw the operating system called 'Windows'. This program seems to breed the virus like rabbits on viagra. My computer has so many, the UNIVAC goes faster!
How to get rid of it? There are several cures.
Install 'RAM'
RAM stands for 'Radioactive Asprin for Motherboards'. It does help some, but as you know, Asprin doesn't work to well. You dont believe me??? 9 out of 10 doctors recommend it!
Close Programs
Viruses love to eat programs! Closing them will destroy the Lag's food source. While this is good in that they cant reporduce as fast, they usually croud up the programs you DO have open, so its not such a good idea.
New Modem
As you know, Viruses are sent over the internet all the time! And the lag virus is no different. When you play a game such as Age of Empires, the lags travel into the phone lines, and infest the other computers! Cable modems are different. You know how your parents block all the bad channels (I that!!!) Well, cable can also block lag! That is the real reason its faster. Higher modems, like 56k are good too, because Lag is sensetive to time zones, and they get sick when treaveling across the country in 5 sec. You know how you feel when this happens! I doubt anyone in New York has had 1 good vacation in Hawaii. But slower modems are like covered wagons. They may take months to cross a contenent, so they never felt the change.Install LagX
LagX kills all lag on your computer, on other computers, and cures several other common diseases, such as the common cold, flu, rabies, and posting on forums. Available Sept. '99 (thats Sept. 2499)